Just Listen Dammit.
Friday, February 18, 2011
I think Life talks to us. We are just so damn busy, so set in our ways, so in our heads, we don’t hear It.
Unless we listen. I mean really stop to listen. I guess that is one of the prevailing reasons I write. I have to sit down on a regular basis and listen to myself, to my life, to what others are trying to tell me. Because Life talks. It talks to us through our discontent, it talks to us through our joys, fears, frustrations, and questions. Life offers us constant feedback. Do we listen?
Life sends us angels in the form of people. Do we recognize them?
Life sends us messages in the form of print. Do we see it in black and white?
Life talks to us through our children. Do we really hear them?
Today, all bound up by the same crap I get bound up by, the same crap that spins wild circles in my head, I couldn’t wait to get here so I could pull it out of my head and pin it down with words. Let it go so I can finish my Bush Fellowship application before the deadline next Friday.
But today I was unable to figure anything out, to fully let it go, because this crap I am bound up in is so deep, so elusive, I couldn’t get to its bottom. So I closed my journal and opened a book of notes that I’ve been compiling for a few years, poking around for a bit of inspiration to get in the mode to finish my application.
I opened to a random page, and the first thing I read was exactly the thing I needed to hear. What I’m saying is, when I thought I was alone to deal with this emotional albatross, I feel like Life slid in beside me in this booth where I am working and said these words:
“I believe now that, even at our most silent and despairing moments, we are preparing to act. Our unconscious may torment us with bad dreams, anxiety, and depression, but it stands ready to help as soon as we start tending to an essential task. Once we begin to move in the necessary direction, we inevitably meet the right people to assist us, and we discover that we know more than we think.”
-Agate Nesaule from Poets and Writers mag, Nov/Dec 2004
Is there a question that has been eluding you about your life, about your self that you cannot figure out? Try this: Open your journal (or your mind) to a blank page and write whatever question you hold in large letters. Let that question sit and breathe. In the subsequent moments, attune yourself–to the people you meet, to the things you read, to the conversations you overhear. I would bet, if you listen within the deepest knowing of yourself, Life will come and speak to you. Don’t waste time doubting it when it does.
Just listen, dammit.