The Well Done Run Dry
Common Roots Cafe
My well done run dry. This may be a monthly thing. My husband would bet the farm on that, if we had one. Either way, these times are not easy. I am used to running on the winds of aspiration and inspiration. But right now? Nothing.
Affect? Flat. Confidence? Low.
I’m in that place where I feel like my creative well echoes with emptiness. My dreams seem like a joke. I will never write well again.
Yet, who am I to bitch about not feeling inspired? After all, I am safe, I am healthy, I have a family I adore and two children who are healthy and happy, I have a home, a bike, a great city in which to ride it, and enough money for tea and an egg and cheese bagel.
I would rather keep all of this crap to myself, but this is a site about writing and life, and this is part of life.
A friend once said to me:
“You know how a heart monitor goes up and down? Well, that’s the way it is with life–those ups and downs? That’s how you know you’re alive.”
My friend Kirstin just got back from a weekend of transformation at the Donna Karan’s urban institute of health and healing in New York City. Standing in her office this morning talking with her, I was struck by the subtle, yet unmistakable change–she looked different–she stood straighter, her smile was broader, and warm laughter lit up her eyes.
It was the physical effect of inspiration, of Life breathing into her life. And it stood stark in the face of my lack thereof.
“Kirstin, I’m having a hard time not being jealous of you,” I said.
So here’s what I’m going to do about it. I’m going to feel this springtime sun on my back. I’m going to read a magazine and enjoy my tea, enjoy my freedom from abuse and persecution. I’m going to write about and focus on all that is simple and beautiful. I’m going to go home to my children and dig for worms and eat popsicles.
And I’m gonna fill this well back up so it can overflow and I can once again give to others.